CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
