Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
