my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
