Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
