Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
