just come out here and I will go home with you...
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
