I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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