return my video game
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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