too bad you live with your parents still
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
