had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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