in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
