Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish i was in the wii world.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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