my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
