He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize