I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
