If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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