I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
