If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
