I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize