They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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