Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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