she was so not down for the gang bang
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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