:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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