shes about as inviting as chlamydia
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
