i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
