Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
