theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
