I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
