I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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