operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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