Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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