Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He better not be in your backpack
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
