I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
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