idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
