I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Randomize
