he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
