I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
