Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
