MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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