just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
