maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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