Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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