He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
