I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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