you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
