I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize