Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i will never coherently bang her
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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