I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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