Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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