It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
