I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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