Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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