Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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