you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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