Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
