Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
