Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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