on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
