Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize