i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
His hands were made for my vagina.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
