You're completely useless in the revolution.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
