I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
