I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
What a dumb baby whore.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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