Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
