i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
