dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
