yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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