guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
