Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
whose parrot is this?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
