You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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