Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
