Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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