All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Green mimosas i think yes
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This baby is an asshole
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize